Isn't it funny, how the people who seem to be making the most powerful impact for God's kingdom seem to be the people who were once the furthest from it at some time in their lives? Whether reformed criminals, lost idol worshipers, or those forced into moral bankruptcy by desperation, it truly does seem those who have walked in the deepest darkness have amazing potential to erupt with light.
My own journey has not been so dark as many, but it seems like perhaps the time may be coming where my teenage brush with the occult may be part of what I have to offer to the body of Christ. That idea will likely raise some eyebrows, but it's still where I find myself at the moment.
I would never wish for anyone to spend a moment in the fearsome realm whose edges I only grazed. So when I hear romanticizing of angels or ghosts and their roles in our lives, sirens of "red alert" begin to blare in the back of my head. But at the same time, I know I am not carrying as sharp a sword as I should be in this war against the deceiver. Sure, I know my boundaries, and when I even get a whiff of demonic risk, all the fine hairs across my skin stand on end. But my sense of places I won't go won't be adequate to educate and protect others from the lies that are so interwoven into our culture with regard to the supernatural.
And so, my reluctant answer to my lack of weaponry? To force myself to learn by proposing my group study spiritual warfare--what the bible actually says about angels, demons, and human spirits after the body dies. It will involve a hunt for the right teaching materials, created by someone far more expert than I. And I suspect it may take some careful convincing that these are paths we dare tread.
But for the sake of those around me who wonder but don't know, it's a place a sense I must go. Prayerfully.