I'd Look Ahead If I Could Keep My Eyes Open

The Realm Makers Conference is a wrap for 2013, and if the feedback is to be believed, was a great success. Valor's Worth has been released. We're (for the most part) in the winding-down phase of the renovation on our home. So why is it I feel closer to a nervous breakdown now than I did in the thick of all three of those things at the height of their production?

Don't get me wrong...I am still very excited for what's been going on with these three monumental events that have characterized the summer of 2013. But justifiably, I'm tired. I have told myself that I would do nothing that causes artistic pressure during the month of August. However, we all know that's not realistic. After all, books that have been released require a high level of talking-up and promotion if they're not going to go off with a fizzle. The conference needs wrapping up from a bookkeeping standpoint, and if we're going to do this annually, we honestly need to start thinking about what next year will look like right away. Home ownership is never a "done deal." There's always a project waiting for attention.

I don't want to be like the quintessential child who begs for a puppy and then tires of walking, feeding, and training that commitment. The trouble with artistic "babies" you birth is that you have to decide: will I continue to nurture this thing to its full potential, or will I let it wither? Or put it up for adoption? For me, I'm too emotionally interwoven with my "babies" to go for the latter two options I just presented. And so I pick up a cup of extra-caffeinated coffee so I can soldier on.

The advantage I have with the conference is that I don't have to carry that one on my own, as I do my books. The first Realm Makers inspired a host of volunteers who I will be able to gather in order to make the next event grander and better-executed. I take heart in that. And so, after a brief weekend of extra napping (after I paint some stuff around the house) I suspect I will be back at it. Yes, I get that "what have I done?" feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about the pressure to make next year as good if not better than this past event. My friends who constantly remind me that it doesn't have to be up to just me lend me the strength to push my fears aside and prepare to serve once more. Thank God for that.

And so if you don't hear from me for a few days, never fear--I may be curled up in my bed with the covers over my head, but you can bet I'm still scheming under there.